If you’re a home inspector, it is wise to let someone you know close to you what part of town you will be in and your game plan for the day. Keep in mind accidents do happen. You could fall off a ladder and lose consciousness. Any one of a number of things could happen to you. So remember, safety first.

But here's the part where I must say do as I say not as I do.

So I arrive at the house and I find windows that are covered in plywood, and a home largely in disrepair. On top of that, the nearest home is probably a mile away. Nothing here but me and the wind whipping through the trees. So I go on about my business.

The last part of the home to be surveyed is the crawlspace. A standard order of business when arriving at a home inspection is to open up access doors of the crawlspace just in case there happens to be some undesirable wildlife taking up residence under the home. Believe me, I've been nose to nose with a skunk more times than I can count. I'd rather give the critters the opportunity to leave peacefully. So at the access hatch I begin suiting up for the crawl. Typical gear includes a full military jumpsuit, safety glasses, gloves, a breathing respirator, headlamp, flashlight with extra batteries and of course my camera. Once suited up I insert my flashlight through the opening to the crawlspace and waved it around. I'd rather have something attack my flashlight than my head if you know what I mean. What I notice after performing this action are a few bees sorta hanging around the entrance to the crawlspace. Not so unusual, I thought. So in I go.

I began crawling around the dark nastiness and say hello to a half a dozen spiders and various other creepy crawlies. This is par for the course as a home inspector. I begin noting excessive moisture, sewer pipes that are approaching the end of their useful lives, some termite activity, etc. what I should've been paying attention to was the quiet hum emanating from the northeast corner of the crawlspace.

I quickly find that I'm not alone in this serene and tranquil environment. Buzzing surrounds me. The flutter of tiny wings stirs the air. A battle has begun and I have trespassed into the sanctity of a very active community of bees.

I'll draw an analogy to that of the bumblebee. You see, with a body like that it is a violation of many laws of physics to think that it can fly. But as you've been told, nobody ever told the bumblebee that it can't fly.

And nobody ever told me that I can't run on my belly.

I cleared the crawlspace in less than 5 seconds. Under pipes, over rocks, twisting and turning avoiding electrical wires and before I know it the sun is upon my face. Gasping for air, I rip off my respirator. Thank God for my jumpsuit! Every square inch of my body was covered so I escaped once again the wrath of the Honeybee.

Until next time,